Hello!

My name is Ali. I’m 21 years old and from California. I was diagnosed with a life long battle with severe depression, anxiety, and a mood disorder when I was 14. I was only labeled as “treatment resistant” within the past few months. Treatment resistant means that despite my efforts, my body is resistant to most forms of treatment (duh). I have been on more medications than you can count (all of which falling under the “good” categories of my genealogy test), been in therapy consistently for 8 years, done transcranial magnetic therapy, and used a frickin light box.

I am a high functioning dysfunctional part of society. I have a full time job, an apartment of my own, and pay my bills on time. Despite these accomplishments I still wake up every day feeling physically heavy yet emotionally empty, wishing today would be the last one. I also suffer from episodes of both depression and mania. My episodes can last as long as a month and rip the “functioning” right out of “functioning dysfunctional.”

Throughout my trials of desperation I have developed great insight into the extremely stigmatized world of mental health and into my own mental illnesses. I have also realized how incredibly alone I feel.

While everyone’s experience is their own, I hope you can find something here that you can relate to. More importantly, I hope you can be reminded that you are not alone in whatever you are going through and we can fight through it together.